The lack of “I” and “You” in the Vietnamese language
These missing pronouns connect the people of Vietnam together
All western languages have a word for “I”, whether “Ich” in German, “Je” in French, “Yo” in Spanish, “Eu” in Portugease, “Я” in Russian, the list goes on. The same follows for the pronoun “you”. This is not the case in Vietnamese.
As Asian languages go, Vietnamese is on the easier side due to it having a latin alphabet and short words, although it is still incredibly difficult, notably due to its tonality. Vietnamese is a tonal language, and has six different tones for every letter in the alphabet. The inflection of the tone of a word can even change its meaning. So the same word can have up to six different meanings, depending on how it is pronounced. Although, this is rare in Western languages, it is not unheard of. For example, Russian has got quite a big emphasis on tone and the same word can also have multiple meanings. However, what makes Vietnamese truly special is the lack of the pronoun “I”, which happens to be the most important word in the Western world.
I am currently following the meditation course “Waking up” by Sam Harris, and he has a number of times mentioned how we are all conditioned to have a sense of “self” or “I”, which falls away when it is closely examined in the act of meditation. Apparently, we first gain this sense of ‘subject’ and ‘observer’ from the age of 4, when we begin to identify ourselves with “I”. Labelling yourself with this word could act as fuel for the ego, which is a major problem. However, perhaps not all cultures are as conditioned as our own with this sense of self, especially if linguistic differences are to be considered. We are all interconnected, and Thich Nhat Hanh calls this “interbeing”. In other words, we are all just flowing in the great sea of consciousness.
The Vietnamese happen to be the most generous people I have ever encountered. They are always giving out gifts, and are quick to forget arguments and insults. Throughout my stay in Vietnam, I was always getting touched and humbled by the invitations to have dinner or drink a beer from new strangers on the street that I had just met. The Vietnamese truly treat everyone else like they would themselves. Perhaps, this could be due to their language and the mental framework it conditions.
So how does the Vietnamese language get away without using the pronouns I and You. The Vietnamese language has a changing set of pronouns based on the subject-observer relationship. For example, you refer to yourself as “em” if you are slightly younger than your acquaintance, whilst they are “anh” or “chị” depending on their gender. On the other hand, if you meet someone who is slightly younger than your father, they are “chú” and you are “cháu”, whilst if they are slightly older than your father, you now refer to them as “bác” instead. These are just a couple of examples, but there are a whole set of rules to follow based on the situation.
Here is a rough breakdown of the rules:
You are,→ I am
You are ông, bà (roughly the same age as my grandfather, roughly the same age as my grandmother), I am → cháu
You are bác, chú (slightly older than my father, slightly younger than my father), I am → cháu
You are bác, cô (slightly older than my mother, slightly younger than my mother), I am → cháu
You are anh, chị (same age as an older brother, same age as an older sister), I am→ em
You are bạn (same age as me), I am→ tôi (more formal) or mình (less formal)
You are em (slightly younger than me), I am→ anh or chị (depending on whether I am a male or female)
You are con (a much younger person, usually <10 years old), I am → chú, cô (depending on whether I am male or female)
In the Vietnamese language, it is vital that you know your age with respect to someone else. Just like in certain types of meditation where you assess your relationship with other people around you, the Vietnamese do this constantly whenever they encounter someone. This is why typically one of the first things they say when they meet someone is “How old are you ?”.
If you observe yourself closely throughout daily life, you will soon realise that you change, and even your actions change, based on who you meet. So basically, the self and who you think you are does not exist, which includes what you deem to be when you say “I”. The sense of self is in a permanent state of flux and is constantly changing. You are not the same person from one moment to another. Sometimes, you even change based on someone’s expectations of you or your role in the relationship. Think of how you act with your friends compared to your parents. These are all mindful moments.
It’s food for thought. But perhaps the feeling of “I” is not as strong all around the world as we think in the West, which could lead to greater feeling of generosity, and a desire for others to do well and succeed. What do you think ? Perhaps the very act of assessing yourself with respect to someone else, encourages compassion and love, which flows through Vietnamese culture.
The language you speak influences your reality, with different languages reportedly using different parts of the brain.
